Traveling with ADHD – Part 1: Packing is Hard

For some, the idea of travel conjures up images of exciting vistas, charming cafes, and novel experiences. For others, it leads to images of being lost, late, and frustrated. The truth for many of us is that we can expect both sides of travel. ADHD can cause us to love the excitement, novelty, and charm—and make us vulnerable to the difficulties as well.

Today’s topic: Packing

Packing is a widely hated task among ADHDers, so it seemed like a logical place to start this series. How do you feel about packing? How successful are you at packing? If the answer is “not great” to either of these, consider where else in your life you manage complicated sets of supplies or information and see if you have a method you could port over to packing.

How to Use This Blog:

As with every aspect of learning to work with your brain, the best expert on how to make travel better for you is… you! To better prepare for your next trip, grab a sheet of paper, and let’s talk through some areas where you might already have solutions in your tool kit. As you read, pause and try to recall times when these things have been challenging, especially if you have pain points that reoccur. Then, think about ways to make that part of travel more manageable for yourself.

Why Is Packing Hard?

Many people experience overwhelming feelings when packing for a trip, difficulty visualizing what they’ll need, and difficulty remembering what they have and haven’t packed.

1. Overwhelm. If you procrastinate packing and then find yourself panicking or quitting midway, then overwhelm might be an area you could tackle. Holding on to a mental list of what you need, choosing every single item, holding on to the list of what you have packed… honestly, I’m overwhelmed just typing it out. So, how do you best deal with information overload and decision fatigue? What works for you?
2. Underpacking. Did you forget to bring a swimsuit to the beach? Take only three t-shirts for a 5-day road trip? Fail to bring slacks for your mother-in-law’s dinner party? The culprit here is also working memory, but differently; this is your nonverbal working memory. Specifically, it’s easy for us to fail to imagine the experience of our trip. So, when you have felt really prepared for something, how did you end up feeling that way? What tools did you use, or what mental exercises did you do?
3. Overpacking. If you’re a fan of comedies, you’ve seen the trope of someone who brings four large suitcases for a 2-day trip. I find two common culprits here, which often present in really similar manners. One is similar to the above; we don’t know what we’ll do, so we don’t know what we’ll need. The other is anxiety-based. We don’t know what we’ll feel, so we don’t know what to take. In either case, we might say, “But what if I need item X? I’ll just take it.” This might be fine if you’re packing a little more than you need. But if you often find that you’re not happy with the amount of luggage you’re lugging, and you feel frustrated at how much extra you brought, what could you change about your packing routine? Is there data at your fingertips that might alleviate the need to take every swimsuit and jumpsuit you own?

My examples

Wait! Before you read this section, really try to come up with some solutions of your own. Then, you can read how I tackle it and see if that sparks any new ideas or counterexamples. After all, every brain is different! Ok… ready? Here are some ways I’m challenged and what I’ve come up with for my brain.

1. Overwhelm: My working memory gets overwhelmed when I pack, and that’s stressful. So now, I always start with a list of categories. Socks, underthings, pjs. Day clothes, evening clothes. Toiletries. Accessories/jewelry (if the trip calls for them). Shoes. Electronics. Things to keep me warm/dry. ID, cash, cards, keys. When I’m done with a category, I’ll mark it off. If a category is 1-2 items short, I’ll put them on the list independently so I know to grab them later without having to revisit the whole category.
2. Underpacking: Above my categories, I’ll write how many days and nights I’m traveling. Packing for “a trip” is much less specific than for a 4-night trip, after all. Then I’ll scan my itinerary and see if anything calls for special stuff (a swimsuit, hiking boots, whatever). Since these aren’t every-trip items, I’ll write out the things I need one item at a time, even if it’s as vague as “dress & shoes for Mary’s wedding.” At least then, I’ll know there’s a decision to be made and items to be packed.
3. Overpacking: My first clue that I’m worried about what people will think of me is when I start throwing stuff into the suitcase long after I have the right amount of clothing. So now I have an allowable tolerance in my packing – for every three outfits, I take one backup outfit in case I don’t feel like wearing something I’ve packed. If I’m apprehensive about performance, then I allow myself another spare – not because it will affect my ability to give a talk or teach dance, but because it’s easier to carry another outfit than to tell myself to stop worrying. If I still want to throw more into the suitcase, I’ll ask myself the magic question: “If you don’t take it, what will happen?” If I’m happy with the answer, I leave the item out. If the consequences don’t seem reasonable, I’ll pack it.

Conclusion:

If your next packing experience goes even 5% better than it has in the past, that’s an indication that you did something that suits your brain. Keep paying attention to what’s challenging and why, and you’ll develop a toolkit that fits your needs.

If you want to move forward on your goals and are looking for support, consider ADHD coaching. The Center for Living Well with ADHD has many options available for all ages and needs, like one-to-one coaching, group coaching, workshops, and body doubling groups. Consider scheduling a complimentary introductory meeting with me or one of the other coaches at The Center for Living Well with ADHD. Let’s get acquainted, understand your needs, and explore how ADHD Coaching may help you experience more of the life you are meant to have.