ADHD Fidget Toys: Finding What Actually Works for You

I want to tell you a cute little story about my company. When I first joined four years ago, we had a company retreat to Minneapolis. I was super nervous, and I didn’t know if my weird would gel with everybody’s weird. 

I remember we had a big meeting that was supposed to last most of the day. I don’t do well in meetings. I always felt that there was this mysterious evil empire that set the rules for all business meetings. The business meetings always had the same evil 10 commandments.

1. Thou shalt not have fun.
2. Thou shalt not wiggle or squirm.
3. Thou shalt not leave thy chair.
4. Thou shalt pay attention!
5. Thou shalt not talk out of turn.
6. Thou shalt dress in stuffy, itchy clothes with an ugly tie that strangles the will out of the body.
7. Thou shalt pay attention!
8. Thou shalt take notes.
9. Thou shalt fight sleepiness and boredom.
10. Thou shalt pay attention!

Fortunately, my company is full of ADHD coaches whose brains work a lot like mine. Having never been surrounded by fun-loving people in a business setting, I started my normal morning routine: forcing myself out of bed under protest, getting dressed in lame, dull business clothing, and preparing for an eight-hour droning lecture where everything would eventually sound like ‘wah wah wah.’ These were all the expectations I learned from my previous job in corporate America.

Coincidentally, as I left my hotel room, I saw several of my colleagues in blue jeans and casual shirts entering the elevator. I quickly ducked back into my hotel room unnoticed and changed my clothes. Now I had my true suit of armor on: blue jeans, a flannel shirt, and a hat. I instantly felt more comfortable in my clothes, but how would I survive the meeting? I was so worried I’d get bored and have my brain wander off into dreamland.  

My First Experience With Fidget Toys

That question was answered when our dear Kat Jahnke brought a large cardboard box full of fidget toys and dumped them in the middle of the conference table.  

“Settle in and get comfortable, guys. Grab a fidget toy and feel free to move about the room. You do not need to stay in your chair,” she said.

I couldn’t believe what was going on. A business meeting? I can stand up and walk around in a business meeting?! Toys? We get to play with toys during the meeting?!  

I never had a fidget toy before! In my past job at a medium-sized business, if I had a fidgety moment, then I resorted to other ways of keeping my hands busy, like chewing my fingernails or picking nervously at my skin. When I was really trying to focus through absolute boredom, I was more likely to disassemble my pen than take notes with it.

So I was giddy with excitement that I grabbed the first toy and started messing around with it. Then the toy broke. I was so embarrassed. Then somebody said, “Don’t feel bad, just get another toy.” So I grabbed another one and started playing with it. That one broke too. I was trying so hard to fit in that I broke 8 fidget toys over the next two hours.

We were about to step outside for our first 10-minute break. I looked at the pile of destroyed fidget toys on the table and felt like a rebel without a clue. Kat stepped in with a kind suggestion: “Hey, it looks like you are having trouble with these toys. There is a construction site outside. How about you go find a rock or something more resilient that can challenge you?”

I nodded and scurried away. I couldn’t believe my fellow coaches had just watched me break fidget toy after fidget toy for the past 2 hours. I went outside to the construction site and found a small chunk of concrete. I bashed some of the rough edges off of the rock and brought it inside. I was so worried about standing out that I couldn’t calm down.

Fortunately, the rock worked. It didn’t break! After the business trip, I came home with a mission to find an outlet for my nervousness. I grabbed my tools out of the garage and started customizing my rock. I locked my new fidget toy in a vise and attacked it with files and chisels, sandpaper, and power tools. I made it my Nate-Proof fidget toy.

When Regular Fidget Toys Didn’t Work for Me

But the rock had so many drawbacks. Nothing moved. Nothing twisted. There were no buttons, no knobs, no way to really play with the thing. I could only release my nervousness into the rock by rubbing it with my fingers until I had blisters.

I had tried other fidget toys, but they were all made of plastic and broke. I have been through countless toys that you can pick, peel, twist, bend, and smoosh. Every single one of them broke. 

I realized that I had a neurodivergent mind that needed a very practical yet novel solution. I’m rough on things, so I needed something that could take some abuse. Something that clicked, zipped, and bonged. Something with buttons and switches. And definitely something that wasn’t made of plastic.

Finding My Perfect ADHD Fidget Tool

Coincidentally, I love working on cars, and my tools have a lifetime warranty. I started searching through my toolboxes and found Nate’s Perfect Fidget Toy… a ratcheting socket wrench. It is only 4.5 inches long and fits easily in a pocket. It is made of polished stainless steel, and it is built to survive the apocalypse. Boredom is no match for this fidget toy. It has helped with so many temptations and distractions. I am on a digital detox at the moment. If I feel the itch to doomscroll on my phone, I grab the wrench and start playing with it. If I have to sit still and read a book for an hour, I play with the wrench while I read. If I am resisting the desire to pick at my skin or bite my fingernails, the wrench is here to save me.

ADHD Support Doesn’t Have to Look Conventional

I have learned that people with ADHD may have lots of support from their loved ones and coworkers, but those people might not always know the solution that works best for them. Often, we have to learn as we go and create a unique solution to help us move forward in life.

Do you need help creating unique solutions for your fidgetiness, focus issues, organization issues, distractions, or temptations? Gimme a call. Book a complimentary get-acquainted session and let’s talk.