Home Organization: What if you’re not wrong?

When I first moved in with my husband, he would get really annoyed when I would walk in the door, kick off my shoes, and walk to the kitchen to splay out my purse, keys, phone, and anything else in my hands. We have limited kitchen counter space and needed to be able to use it for (shockingly) kitchen stuff! As you might guess, once I splayed there, my stuff stayed there. 

My husband was getting frustrated having to move my purse to cook and I resented him reminding me to move it. Noticing this friction, my husband, in his kind wisdom, realized that he wasn’t going to get me to stop dumping/splaying my stuff when I walked in the door. It was my routine, and I did it every time. I needed a place to set down my stuff — and quickly! 

What was *working* about the kitchen counter was that it was the first available flat surface I could find after walking in the back door.  

So, instead of trying to change me, he gave me exactly what I needed: a table right next to the door where I could splay my stuff and where my purse could live without getting in the way. My splaying on the kitchen counter stopped instantly because we had found a solution that actually worked for me. 

Home Organization: What if you’re not wrong?

This is the important point I want to make:

I was not wrong for immediately needing to splay my stuff. It was waaaay too much work for me to take all my stuff up to the bedroom right away or move my purse for a second time after the initial splaying. It doesn’t matter if this reasoning makes sense to a neurotypical person. It was true for me because I never did it consistently. 

But we sometimes get the message that what we do as folks with ADHD is wrong/bad and, instead, we should just try harder to be neurotypical. What would our lives be like if we instead validated what we needed and found solutions to meet those needs?

If you’re having difficulty implementing a solution, then it isn’t a solution. I’ll say that again. If you’re having a hard time following through, remembering, or carrying out a solution, then it is not a solution. It does not work for you. A solution both improves the problem and is easily maintained. 

I’ll be premiering a class on exactly this topic…how ADHDers can organize their homes to make maintaining a household easier coming up on June 29th at 10:00 am CT. If you’re stuck or sick of your household cleaning/tidying/organizing taking so much effort and mental worry, this class is for you. Otherwise, feel free to schedule a free Get Acquainted session with me or any Center coach to get help living easier with ADHD.

Riley Karbon PCAC

Riley Karbon, PCAC

ADHD Coach and Life Coach, Executive Skills Coach

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