What is Your Equals Sign?

I was lying in bed at 11:26 PM with my mind swirling. There’s an assignment due, and I have no idea where to start. Actually, that’s not true; I have a million ideas of where to start, but that’s almost as bad as having no idea at all. Hello, cognitive hyperactivity, my old friend. 

I have a blog post due in five days. The first blog post I’ve ever written. It can be about anything which is not helpful. My brain immediately goes into overdrive, cycling through ideas. I want it to be good since I’ve just started with this fantastic team of coaches at the Center, but I also want it to be done. (ADHD logic: excellent vs. done, why can’t it be both?). 

Then I asked myself a question I’ve asked others a hundred times: “What is your equals sign?” 

I’ve posed this question to my own children, the students I’ve tutored, and even the adults I coach. It works for elementary math through calculus and, oddly enough, for life’s non-math conundrums. The equals sign is my metaphor for a small, simple step I can do immediately without taxing my brain too much—when one has ADHD, ambiguous tasks can sometimes feel like solving quantum physics. 

What choosing the equals sign does is initiate the solution. It’s not the solution, but it’s a start. And for someone with ADHD, starting is often the most challenging part. In algebra, if I’ve got two apples at a dollar each and three oranges whose price I need to figure out, I know I spent $5.75. Instead of heading into overwhelm, I just write down the equals sign. Then, I can start plopping my information on the appropriate side of the equation, and suddenly, the problem seems a lot more manageable. Writing down my equals sign is my way of turning chaotic thoughts into something more organized and linear. 

Even though in math, the equals sign is a literal two lines on a white piece of paper, for a high school essay, it might be a blank Word document with the essay prompt at the top,  double-spaced and saved under the assignment name. For my son in his university classes, if he’s stuck, I’ll ask, “Have you written down your equals sign?” That question alone often gets him past his mental block.

The equals sign can even be a physical object. With an overwhelmingly messy room, the equals sign can be as simple as a garbage can in the middle of the chaos. What do I know? I know this is trash, and this is not. No, the room won’t be pristine after step one, but it’ll be better. And starting, well…that’s everything. Plus, let’s not forget the dopamine rush from checking off that first task, which keeps the momentum going for the next.

One would think this swirling ambiguity would go away as an adult, but it doesn’t. Nope. The ADHD brain continues to juggle a million things at once. But there are tools—blessed tools!—to calm the swirl and bring order to the chaos. One of those tools is just writing down the equals sign. 

Are you struggling to get started? Here’s a question: “What’s your equals sign?” Deciding that could be the small action that helps you break through the overwhelm. And if you’re still struggling or curious about how much those oranges cost, the coaches here at The Center for Living Well With ADHD are ready to help. 

As the newest member of this team, I’m passionate about helping families navigate the unique challenges of ADHD and empowering tweens and teens to thrive. When I’m not coaching, I enjoy convertible rides with my husband, cued ballroom dancing, snowboarding, crafting tiny amigurumi animals, and spending time with family here in the foothills of Mount Rainier in Washington State. Please feel free to read my bio and learn more details about my ADHD coaching experience here!

Let’s explore how I can support your family’s journey— pushing this “Get Acquainted” button might be your equals sign today.