From “Over It” to “On It:” Rebounding from the End-of-Schoolyear-Slump

Ok, parents, it’s that time of year: Teacher Conferences, Round 2. How’s your kid holding up? If yours is anything like my 5th grader, the daily routines are painfully boring by now – even with a great teacher. The excitement and novelty of the new year have long ago faded, academic demands have ramped up, and pushing through the school day and after-school activities leaves your kid feeling exhausted. 

So, how can we actually help? If your kid is stressed or completely checked out, ramping up the pressure won’t work. Instead, here are a few ways to ease the weight they’re carrying so they’re more open to trying different approaches.

Validate:
It’s so powerful to just be listened to, believed, and understood. Acknowledge that they’re absolutely right. It is really hard this time of year for everyone. I’m tired, too, and I will bet their teacher is as well. They’re not alone here. It means the world to kids when you take the time to listen.

Affirm:
We ADHD’ers are affirmation junkies (a line I stole from my coach buddy Griffin Rouse). We get more than enough negative feedback, whether it’s from ourselves or the outside world. When parents notice what’s going well, our kids get a shot of precious dopamine. When things are really hard, double down on affirmations. The seemingly small wins are hard-fought this time of year, and being recognized really recharges our batteries.

Get Curious:
Once they feel heard and encouraged, problem-solving tends to be easier. Instead of telling them what to do, ask questions and let them think out loud. Try something different, ask them what worked or what didn’t work about it, and adjust as you go. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for everyone, so be patient and experiment until you find something that clicks.

Spring Fever Success Stories from My Clients

• Take the “home” out of homework, if you can help it.
  ✏️ Distracting study hall? Get permission to work in a better environment, like the school library. Bonus if you have a studious friend who can body double with you.
  
  ✏️ Is the phone use eating up independent work time in class? I’ve had clients give their phones to their teacher or a friend at the beginning of certain classes, so it wasn’t even an option. Another client got serious about blocking her phone (she had success with Opal).
  
  ✏️ One client found he got a lot more done in a shorter time when he did his homework at the public library instead of going home to do it, where distractions abound. The challenge? Getting to the library. So, twice a week, he scheduled a meal pickup at Jimmy John’s, which is located near the library. This strategy made the library much more convenient.
• Body Double.
  ✏️ My client tried a million strategies to help her get started with homework, with limited success. Then she scheduled homework dates with her best friend—sometimes using FaceTime, sometimes in person. Now, homework is less boring with a friend there, and she has someone to talk to if she needs to problem-solve.
• Talk to your teacher.
  ✏️ When things pile up, ADHD brains want to escape. Instead, try the opposite! Notice when you have the escape feeling. Be brave, pull a George Costanza, and do the opposite of your ADHD urges. Talk to your teacher (or parent or friend) when you struggle.
  
  ✏️ Acting out in class? One of my clients struggling in a class set up ten-minute check-ins with his teacher at the end of the day. They each shared something he did well and then problem-solved any challenges. Their relationship (and his classroom engagement) improved dramatically. 

If you want to make lasting changes, consider meeting with any of our coaches at The Center for Living Well with ADHD to discuss how a coach could help. The Get-Acquainted session is complimentary, so consider it your small step toward better strategies. Find those coaches right here! Happy days to you and yours!