Filling Your Cup – How To Support You in Your Way

As a mom, it’s easy to get stuck in that uncertainty about what we genuinely need, mainly when influenced by others’ expectations or the images of motherhood we see online. For a long time, I believed motherhood had to fit a specific mold that I felt pressured to follow. However, living with executive functioning challenges made this ideal increasingly difficult to achieve. It wasn’t until I embarked on a journey of self-discovery that I began to question my perception and explore what worked for me. A key takeaway from this journey was the importance of developing self-awareness and prioritizing my well-being. While ADHD and executive functioning challenges can complicate this process, understanding our needs and capacities is vital for supporting ourselves and effectively filling our cups. This awareness is the foundation for building a more fulfilling experience to help support ourselves and family.

Below are some things to consider and get curious about when assessing your own needs. 

Embrace Mindfulness

If you feel overstimulated and your thoughts are racing, take a moment to step back—not to solve any problems, but simply to observe your feelings and thoughts as they are. Mindfulness practices can be helpful when staying present. However, it’s essential to understand that it does not have to look a certain way. Traditional practices might not be feasible for everyone, and that’s okay. Mindfulness can be a skill you develop in ways that suit you personally. It’s really about finding grounding in mental noise. Experiment with different methods, whether observing your surroundings, journaling or reflecting on your thoughts, to discover what works best for you.

Take Care of Yourself 

Taking care of yourself first is not a nice thing to have; it’s a need. If we do not care for ourselves, we are coming to the table with no water in our pitcher. When it’s empty, we cannot support ourselves and those around us. So, balance your own brain outside and inside of any situation, then notice what is needed for yourself and then what is needed for others. 

Acknowledge Your Capacity

Understanding and respecting your own capacity is essential. Factors like nutrition, sleep, and stress levels can significantly impact how well you manage your emotions and responsibilities. For moms with ADHD, this capacity can fluctuate greatly from day to day. It’s crucial to regularly check in with yourself and recognize when you need to adjust your expectations or take a break.

Accepting that you might not always meet your own standards and extending grace to yourself can reduce feelings of shame and frustration. Acknowledging that some days will be better than others allows for a more compassionate approach to managing all the things. 

Give Yourself Permission

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the importance of granting myself permission to do it my way and to keep it simple. Embracing that flexibility has been a game-changer. If you need to use buckets instead of drawers, that’s OK. If you have to have a checklist and templates everywhere, that’s OK, too. Being OK with it, not looking a certain way and releasing the burden of “shoulds” is so freeing, and it ultimately helps you engage more meaningfully with your family. It allows you to focus on finding what feels right for you and your family. 

So let’s be kind to ourselves, acknowledge our limitations, and embrace the ebb and flow of our capacity. By doing so, we can navigate the challenges of life with more compassion and resilience. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. 

If you are curious about how to begin this journey of self-awareness and understanding your own needs, schedule a meeting with one of our coaches.