Building Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience is a superpower that every person with ADHD can develop, even when emotions feel overwhelming. Building emotional resilience is about learning how to navigate difficult emotions with self-compassion and coping strategies.

The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.” There are several factors that contribute to how well we adapt to adversities, including our worldview, what we believe, how we engage with the world around us, and what resources and coping strategies we have. 

Over the last five years, we have endured significant life challenges. The big one is the pandemic that impacted everyone on the planet. We have witnessed a substantial rise in mental health issues in our own country, and the impact continues to plague many. This world is complicated, and the emotional intensity that we experience can impact our self-worth, relationships, and ability to be productive. 

The good news that I would like to share and truly believe is this: resilience is a life skill that needs to be cultivated and can help you grow through challenges and become stronger and wiser. Just like growing a plant, it takes tilling the soil, weeding what doesn’t belong, feeding, and nurturing the plant. 

I would like to share some of the strategies I have learned personally and professionally. There is no actual formula to follow. Here are a few suggested strategies that you might want to try.

Managing Difficult Emotions: Intense feelings of fear and anxiety can be frightening. When I was told that I had a small growth on my lung and needed surgery a year ago, the fear was debilitating. One of the things I learned after hearing that scary news was to be present with all of the feelings I had, welcoming them to a seat at my emotional table. I use the medication as one of the tools in my toolbox. For me, doing breath work helps to calm my mind. 

Meditation: If you have not practiced meditation, start sitting quietly for 5 – 10 minutes daily in a quiet space and focus on your breathing. Breathe in, count to five, and take a more extended breath out. Meditation can help you embrace and understand your emotions, manage stress, reduce brain chatter, and be more emotionally resilient. 

Self-Compassion: Embrace feelings of vulnerability and be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself as you would treat a loved one who is suffering. Try to embrace the feelings you are having without resistance. With practice, you can defuse the feelings and prevent the intense feelings from escalating into full-blown panic. 

Be Open To Learning: We have influence over what we want for ourselves. We can learn to be calmer and wiser by feeding our brains with repeated positive experiences. There is a saying in brain science: “Neurons that fire together wire together.” The more we offer ourselves positive psychological resources, the more we can change how we view life. I credit Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of the book Resilient, for much of my education in resilience theory.

Gratitude: Consider what you are grateful for at the end of each day. What are some of the small experiences you had in the day? Start a gratitude journal of those thoughts. 

Movement: Move your body. Dance in front of the mirror, take a walk, do a yoga class, or any type of activity that gets you moving. 

Journal: Start journaling about your feelings, hopes, and desires. This reflective practice can help you stay optimistic, hopeful, and resourceful during times of adversity and transition. 

Social Connections: It takes courage to reach out. Be courageous! Reach out to a friend or family member, smile, and say hello to someone you don’t know, like the cashier at the grocery store, or you can go to your local library. Like resilience, social connections can combat feelings of isolation and must be cultivated and tended.

It takes time to develop the inner strengths you need, and there is always support to help you develop more resilience to face the challenges ahead with a greater sense of well-being. At those times when it all feels like too much,  reach out to a therapist or coach. If these ideas have grabbed you, consider meeting with any of our coaches for a free Get Acquainted session and assess how coaching can help move you forward.